Every time I crossed a border this trip, The Border by America popped right into my head. If you don't know that song, start knowing it. You're welcome.
I took a bus to Changuinola and hopped a ferry (which I had been told would be a FAIRY. I was super bummed when I saw it was just a boat instead of a magic little lady who would grant me wishes.)
I look bummed because this woman was also NOT a fairy. = (
And so I found myself in the Caribbean town Bocas del Toro!
"Hey, my eyes are down here, pal."
Their law is that if a citizen builds a house on the coast on their own dime, they then own the land (seriously).
The Coconut Hostel, where I stayed.
Police help! All the police are missing!
That hamburger be blaaaaaack. Unfortunately this place never opened the entire time I was there.
Wow! For rent?! WHERE DO I SIGN?!
I met the Magic School Bus who retired to Bocas where he picked up a whole new career! Ms. Frizzle and her iguana were there too but I didn't get to meet them because she shrunk her class down to a microscopic level and entered my digestive track and I accidentally sizzled them all to death with an alkaseltzer. I felt bad. =(
And then... the unexpected happens. I became pregnant!
With incredible food from Fat Boy Treats! Look at how attractive the menu is:
Who wouldn't let that into them?
Although I'm sure it doesn't beat sexy ice cream:
But, then again, what would?
(Pimp Daddy ice cream probably would.)
This place is highly recommended. Loco Dave's bar was probably my favorite place there. The owner Dave is flat out hilarious and extremely friendly. He stands around and busts out one-line after one-liner to his customers who sit around, drink, and laugh. It's like a free stand-up show. Their bar is not only a used book store (which is not nearly as expensive as the sign leads you to believe, it's actually very cheap) but also houses a ping pong table!
I learned that Panama has a huge love of baseball. Bocas del Toro vs. Sixaola was playing in the CHAMPIONSHIP game. And the citizens projected the game on a huge projector in the street!
But they lost. Thank your wasting my time, Panama, I should have just stayed in Chicago and spent my time consuming drugs.
And I did SCUBA DIVING for the first time!
Me ish Scuba Diving!!
However one of the days I spent with severe food poisoning. After leaving Loco Dave's bar one night, I ravished 3 beef skewers from a young man selling them on the street. And the next morning I was severely vomiting (dry heaving is really its own special kind of pain isn't it?) and couldn't even keep down any water. I was very close to going to the hospital and experiencing that joy, but finally by 5pm I was able to take down some water and later in the day ate the most glorious watermelon I've ever tasted. (After telling one local about the experience the next day, she said to me, "That's funny. My husband, three children, and I have lived here for 7 years, eat the street food nearly every day, and have never gotten sick, nor ever heard of any single person getting sick." Whoo! I hit the vomit lottery guyz!)
Then after several days of highly enjoying Bocas, it was time to meet my friend from DePaul, Casey, who is currently a teacher in Santiago, and her husband:
Then I headed to final destination, Panama City:
Their subway was 1 month old, incredibly gorgeous, and made Chicago's El look like a Belgian prostitute (which I hear are quite nice, actually)
Election season
The best living statues I've ever seen. They didn't move the entire three days I was in Panama City. I gave them a huge tip (25 cents, but that's like 30 dollars to them, obviously)
And that's the most of it! I came home and was immediately rained upon in 40 degree weather and gained 10 pounds. Ah, Chicago. I also had credit card fraud nearly immediately. Between that, the robbery in Costa Rica, and the severe food poisoning in Panama, I think it makes this a real legitimate Central America trip! No regrets. (I'd just like to point out to all the snobs who only consider the more "developed" Costa Rica and Panama as real destinations, those were the only two countries where ALL the aforementioned bad things happened. Also, the people were way more friendly in Guatemala / Honduras / Nicaragua. Just sayin'.)
I immediately missed my nomadic lifestyle upon coming back to Chicago, where my comfortable constant bed, enclosed walls and roof, and computer have turned me back into a zombie. I highly recommend to anyone to do the same trip I did. And by public bus, which made it even more incredible.
It's inspiring to take a break from the hard-work, hard-play American lifestyle to a world where people don't shout at Walgreens store clerks because their coupon didn't discount correctly. Where nearly every single person is relaxed and rested and wants to have a conversation with you. Where people don't know what their version of 9-1-1 is but also don't really care to know. Where what happens is what happens. Where people don't try to control every aspect of their lives. Yes, the downfall is that their healthcare system is shoddy, the police and government are corrupt, children die of perfectly preventable disease, and people kick street dogs like they're soccer balls. But at least the families in Central America are together nearly every hour of every day. At least people there know how to live in the moment and never hesitate to smile or laugh. Life is a balance. We may tip the scale one way, but Central America tips it another way. It's not necessarily worse or better. And it certainly isn't the wastelands of drug lords murdering foreigners that all the "Be Carefullers" in Chicago honestly believe that it is. See for yourself!
Goodbye, Central America. I'll be back.
A map of my trip. The green line represents where I traveled through. An interactive map HERE.
