Days 3 & 4

3/6

When I woke up this morning I was in panic mode. "Go home. Get a job. GO HOME. GET A JOB." was all I could think. Over and over. Good thing I got over it when I walked outside into this colonial city of Antigua:

Today I wanted to go feed dogs. There are so many dogs wandering around this town with their ribcages showing. Yesterday there was a dog who looked hungry, flee-bitten, and something wrong with her left eye. It broke my heart. So today I put on my running shoes and went to a nearby hole-in-the-wall restaurant and ordered two hamburgers and stuffed them in my fannie pack. I ran back up the hill overlooking the town where I'd seen the dog the day before. She was not there today. So I ran around the town, road to road, corner to corner, to find hungry dogs. Wouldn't you know it, the one time I have burgers with me I could find NO DOGS. So I ate them. (Just kidding, I put them in the fridge to try again later.)

On my way back I had literally the best snowcone of my life. It made American snowcones look like jackasses. It was so filled with sweet, sticky syrup that it was flat out GOOEY. Oh my God it was incredible. They even put salt on it, and the vendor wanted to put picante on it! I had him put pineapples instead, but they are not playing around with their snowcones. But then halfway through it I realized, Oh my God, I'm eating their H20.... So I threw the rest of it out and am now sitting at Café Barista anticipating explosive diarrhea. I'll let you know how it turns out!

(Update 24 hours later: still solid!)

There's a phenomenon that happens that I love. Sometimes when I see a native Guatemalan and they see me, a white guy from the States, this is how we say hi to each other:

Me: Hola.
Guatemalan: Hello.

That is called speaking each others' languages and I love it!

The rest of the day I just spent working on projects. Tried a new café called La Casaca but I couldn't sit at their tables because apparently they don't support my hippo leg lifestyle:

That's like 6 inches of leg space and I'm being generous in my estimation.

The good thing about the café is that at least their bathrooms are clearly labeled:

 

Back in my day, benders were benders and squatters were squatters. Nowadays benders are squatting and squatters are bending, it makes me and God furious!

Also found this sign...

YEAH! FUCK THE NATIONAL COUNCIL FOR THE PROTECTION OF ANTIGUA!!!! Those big fat cats!

3/7

I'm planning on volunteering with an organization called ConstruCasa in which I will build an entire house for a family in extreme poverty in just 2 weeks! More info to come on this.

And watch a video of me scaling a hill to the top of their lookout point which shows the layout of Antigua and then getting distracted by a dog:

Today I took out my burgers and finally found some dogs to feed. Here are the two dogs who were the lucky recipients of my cooked cow meat:

The second one followed me a little while so in order to get rid of him I had to kick him which kind of undid my original deed, so I evened out, which is a good place to be. (JK about kicking. If I really kicked the dog I wouldn't admit to it on my worldwide blog! Although...  if I really had kicked it, wouldn't pretending to admit it and then saying "just kidding" be a great way to cover up the crime? But then further exposing the plan to cover up the crime by revealing that I might've admitted to it and said JK to cover up the crime wouldn't be a very good way to trick people... Or would it? What do you think? Vote whether or not you think I kicked the above adorable dog at https://www.construcasa.org/en/how-you-can-help/start-a-campaign?view=campaign&id=35 )