The Terror

For the 2 weeks I've been constructing this house in Antigua (actually San Miguel Escobar in Ciudad Vieja) it's been my goal every single day to not have to go number 2 in this toilet.

And today I failed my mission. I guess the chile relleno I ate yesterday on my lunch break had a bit of cheese or milk. Maybe the bread I bought after work had milk. Or maybe it was that cow udder I was suckling from on my way home from the site. I can't remember but it became obvious early in the day my mission was in trouble. I thought I could handle it at first as long as I didn't eat anything. All the while the good toilet that we were about to install in the family's new bathroom was sitting there all day, taunting me:

"I'm a virgin..."

I tried asking the crew to see if we could install the toilet today with the guarantee I'd be the first tester, but they felt it prudent to build the walls first. So textbook.

So I just tried to not to eat all day. But after constant cement mixing and dirt hauling my brain wasn't even in function when I scarfed down two sandwiches at lunch. And unless you're a member of my anorexic fanbase (to which I do cater (ironically)) you've been there: your gut gurgles here and there, you have a few moments of pressure, but it passes. And then all of a sudden you just know. He's the one.

So I ripped open the bathroom door -- which is a piece of bedding flapping in the breeze -- so to everyone's intermittent view, I pulled down my shorts and became at one with the green monster. And you know what? Besides having to battle your own creations using a manual flushing system, it wasn't half bad! In fact, I prefer it.

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Tomorrow the house will be complete! It's already impressively close to being done. The masons did the roof after I left yesterday so I missed that. But today we did the floor:

 

 

I mean, it looks like a real house! We're almost there!

I've really enjoyed working the last week with the three masons: Héctor, Oscar, and Marcos.

 

They're great to work with, especially Oscar, the jefe. I wouldn't go through any painstakingly awkward moments of communication with people who barely speak each others' languages with any other group but these guys. 

My favorite thing about Héctor so far is that he's the most reserved, the silent strength kind of guy, yet 1 day a week he wears a fully mesh shirt.

I wonder how you decide which day of the week is the day to display your nipples. Hmmm. I feel like it's Thursdays.

I really like Oscar so I feel a bit guilty posting this, as though making light of his religion (he goes to church every day) but in my defense, oh well. He was listening to this religious program in the car radio on the way back from the site the other day. Know that while I'm holding the camera I'm fighting back laughter.

My only regret is that I didn't film that for longer.

Last week, I was trying to ask Oscar if the cement mix needed to be more watery. There's a word for watery -- aguado but I couldn't remember it. So instead of asking, "Más aguado?" which means "More watery?" I said "Más aguacate?" which means, "More avocados?" They loved it. It became their running joke everyday. Whenever they want more water they say "MAS AGUACATE!" and all laugh.

And then I got knocked over by a mule's cargo yesterday. I stepped aside for the mules but as I geekily smiled and said "Buenos dias" to the farmer, I was whacked in the upper back by his second mule's lettuce load overhang, right into the dirt pile I was shoveling. The other volunteer, a little boy that lives there, and I could not stop laughing. Especially them.

I'm such an immigrant. Even my Spanish is lacking. I've forgotten a lot since high school. I find myself doing the same exact things I see from Spanish-only speakers in the States: Nodding and saying "Oh OK," even though you clearly have not grasped what the other person is saying; relying on smiling and over-laughing; even feeling like a bit of an idiot for not being able to really do that one lil' thing called verbal communication we Homos do (Sapiens, that is, well both).

Children take the best pictures and videos:

Tomorrow the house will be completed! And I will take captive of it. I've secretly doctored the family's deed and sold their plot to Mexican pirates I'm secretly in cahoots with for blow! Tomorrow should be a fun time!

Thanks for reading! (unless you skipped to the last part and didn't read, then F you) Night!