From Copan to Leon to Esteli

 

The following days in Copan, Honduras I did as much of the touristy stuff as I could. I wanted my inner gringo to shine! So the first thing I did was go to the hot springs. TOTALLY boring. We were left there for 3.5 hours. So naturally I put mud on my face and body and pretended I was Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now:

 

 

But that only lasted for a few minutes and I was bored again!

 

The next day was cooler because I went horseback riding up a mountain and got to see a tiny village. 

 

You can't hear this in the pic (I don't think) but my horse was all "Lay off the bacon fattie," and so I was all, "Neigh off the grass, you whore-s."

 

And then I went ziplining which was my hands down favorite:



 

 

 

Yes I am upside down in this:

 

My guide was like "Okay, now upside down" and pushed my head down and I was like "What?! Okay?!"

 

I started to become so at one with the nature in Copan the birds and beasts of the forest flocked to me.

 

And then I ate them.

 

Speaking of eating, their snowcones are beasts:

 

I love you.

 

Then I went to see the Copan ancient Mayan ruins. 

 

I prefer drywall, personally.

 

Then I headed to Nicaragua. I passed through San Salvador but this ended up being my ONLY picture of it: 

 

 

VANILLA COKE!!!!

 

And I made it to Leon, Nicaragua to visit this gal!

 



 

This is Ariel, my friend from college. She's really good friends with my sister Carla but I was able to enjoy her despite that! (Kidding Cai Cai!)

 

As if ziplining, horseback riding, and hot springs survival wasn't extreme enough, we went VOLCANO BOARDING! TO THE XXXX TREME !!!!

 

Step 1: Climb the volcano.

 

 

Step 2: Take XXXXXX TREME selfies all along the way with an EXTREME lip curl!

 

 

 

Step 3: Take your volcano board and slide down that bizlatch:

 

[picture of me volcano boarding to come. In the meantime, enjoy this photo of someone who's not me and imagine it's me.]

 

 

Leon was a fairly cool place.

 



 

 

The fashion there is to be really sexy and also leashed to a wall by your neck: 

 

 

Now I know what you're thinking: 

 

It seems like a Pizza Hut ripoff, but it's not, because Pizza Hut is actually already a rip-off of real pizza. 

 But as much as I liked Leon, I was ready to move on, for the neighborhood wizard wouldn't even grant any of my wishes:

 

And then there's actual bull crap like this: 

 

Seriously?! F you, Nicaragua. How does that crap fly here? Who would even enjoy a cock fight? "Oh man I had such a hard day at the office. So stressed out! I just REALLY need to see some chickens stab each other to death and just CHILL, you know?" F you!

So Ariel and I headed to.... We didn't know!

 

 

Ariel needed to get back to Esteli and so I decided to continue to pester her there! But the bus for her city had already left. So a guy in Spanish yelled at us to get onto another bus and we obeyed! This is us packed into a "chicken bus" they call them (I wonder if they make their chicken busses fight each other for sport too?) having only a faint notion of the name of the town we're going and no idea of its direction. Here's us transferring to the bus in this mysterious town where we have no clue where we are:

 

 

 

Turns out it was called San Isidro. We found out after we were brutally robbed and left to die. The scenery was BEAUTIFUL!

 

And we finally made it to Esteli. I'll be here the next few days:



 

 

 I even got to see another friend from college, my old friend Danny:

Thanks for reading! I'll leave you with this ADORABLE video of me being followed by one of the Guatemalan children from the construction site last week (the kid is really cute, too)