Arrival

You know how an idea sounds so good in your head but then when put into practice it's a world of hesitation?

That's what this trip was!

Everyone kept asking me up until the day I left, Are you excited? Are you pumped? You must be so excited!!

No! I wanted to say. I'm fucking scared! What the fuck am I doing? I quit my high-paying corporate job and left the 1st world on a one way ticket. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!!?
Nay. The road to the road was nothing but anxiety-induced for the following 2 reasons:

1. The beaten path is highly addictive. The 1st world lifestyle can lull your senses and put your soul to sleep while your body continues to move. Despite the fact that my job was sucking my life force, I was stacking those Gs like a pimp, could afford nearly anything I wanted, had somewhere surefire to go everyday; and was "in line" with the way you're "supposed" to do things. God that felt fucking good. And to toss that aside was to ignore the screaming of my very deepest social conditioning.

2. I keep listening to everyone around me. When I told people I was going to Central America, you'd think I revealed that I just enlisted. People kept saying, "Be careful!" over and over. It really freaked me out and made me feel like I would meet the drug lords on the news the moment I stepped off the plane.

But despite the anxiety, I went because I had already pressed "Buy" on the Expedia ticket page. And so after a tearful goodbye with my incredible Mother (who was nothing but supportive in my decision to take this voyage and did not join the relentless Greek Chorus of Be Carefullers), through a 1 hour layover in Ft. Lauderdale, and then back onto the exact same seat and exact same plane to Guatemala City! Yeah baby!!

 

                                  Thank God someone was there to remind all the women what their body proportions should be. This woman was so patient waiting for her plane to come in, she didn't move a muscle. A true Ghandi.

I gained confidence in my Spanish-speaking ability. I'm currently reading a book called Medianoche en Mexico coupled with a good old-fashioned Spanish-English dictionary to help me out. But I helped a Guatemalan woman next to me on the plane fill out her immigration card and had an amicable Spanish chat with my shuttle driver from the aiport to the town Antigua named Juan.

That car ride, by the way, was what reminded me, oh yeah, I'm back in Central America, bebé! After almost getting hit by a semi, eating smog cloud after smog cloud, and watching street performers stand on their heads in front of our car at stop-lights, it was like meeting an old friend again. I can't wait for more unnecessary craziness here in the mountains.

Even though my initial fears were due to feeling like I was the only one going off the beaten path, that was not true. I already met tons of people around my age also travelling with no real goal in mind. We laughed at how ambiguous our journey was and it made me feel good and reminded me to trust myself. In addition the city is even more remarkable than when I was first here. I can't wait to show you why over the coming weeks.